Last Kiss.

I was ironing my clothes when suddenly became very philosophical. Funny! No idea how that happened. It was random. Like super random. Thought about how I was never really free and single for a few years, and it seems like it has taken a toll on me.

All this years, people has been asking me, do you have a boyfriend? And when I say no, they would go "Why? Such a pretty lady like you don't have a boyfriend?" Or maybe "How old are you? Still don't have a boyfriend?" Well now I say screw those stereotypes. Can one stay single and happy? Love will come when it wants to. It's not that I don't believe in love anymore. But I think that there are so many different perspective on love which I don't believe.

I still remember the look on your face

First, I don't believe in love at first sight. I mean, how rare is that? Yes, other people may have experienced it, but I just think that this kind of stuff only happens in movies. Where one look, and you know, it's love. He/she's the one. That you'll be loving him/her forever. Old school. Sweet. But I just don't believe.

The words that you whispered for just us to know

I don't believe that you can say when you know it, you just know it. What if when you know it, it's already too late? Sometimes, we all do wonder what love is. Sometimes, we all also wonder, when love comes, we can tell. That we can feel that it's love. I'm not talking about the love between friends or family. I'm talking about love between two person. Attraction happens. But how can you tell that it's love when you don't want to open up your heart to embrace the other? How can you say it's not love when you don't allow your heart to take control?

You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

I don't believe in being 'The One' for that person. Do you really have to find that someone to be able to know that he/she will be 'The One' for you? That everything you do with that person will be worth it? That he/she will be the one whom you can see spending the rest of your life with? You're supposed to appreciate and cherish every single moment in your life, everyone that you are with are special in their own way. Learn to appreciate them.

You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

If a girl is stupid enough to love you after you have broke her heart, I guarantee you, she's the one. I don't believe in that statement. Reality check. It does not mean that she'll be the one you have to hold on to. And that girl is too stupid to see that the guy's a jerk. I believe in letting go and moving on. If that person wants to be in your life, he/she will make an effort to do so, if not, he/she is not worth wasting your time.

All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss

All around, I see people doing things in the name of love. I don't believe in harming yourself just to prove your love for the other person. It's just plain stupid. Don't lose yourself in the process of loving another. Love yourself before loving others. 'Nuff said.

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

I don't believe in still thinking about your past lovers because they ain't coming back to you. There's this saying : Let it go. If it was yours to start with, it'll always be yours. How true is that? Nobody knows. What is in the past, there's a reason why they did not make it into your future. No point pinning for what you have lost just because you know that it was love. If you pin for your first love, you'll never find love the way you once did.

Never imagined we'd end like this

Plant a kiss. Give a hug. I believe in what I deem fit. You can prove me wrong. You can show me that my beliefs are utter bullshit. It's just what I don't believe in. Things can change. ;) Love is simple, only us humans makes it complicated. It's always awesome and sweet to see couples who last through 7 years and still going strong. Especially those happily married couples. :) Sweetness!

How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something

Do I miss those sweet moments? Do I miss those times where I had someone to always watch movie with, to talk to, to just hug and kiss whenever I want? Frankly, I'm just too tired, and lack of energy to be someone's else girlfriend. (Unless something happens like what is stated up in the picture above.=P) I don't miss any of those. It's not that being in a relationship is bad. Being single is not bad either. Being single and in a relationship with someone has it's pros and cons. Well, they say if you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken. ;)

I never planned on you changing your mind

I guess I have blogged long enough. Good to see that I am keeping my blog alive. Not dead yet. ;P I have my flaws. I am not perfect. We are always learning, every single moment. Main point is, I am damaged goods. Banyak jiwang. That's what I'm feeling. Content. Uninterrupted. Smiling. Now, enjoy this little song below. A cover of Taylor Swift's song Last Kiss. Cheers~

I may do a lot of stupid shit but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.
- He's Just Not That Into You.

Blame it on September.

It's the last day of September as I type. Blame it on September is a song by Allstar Weekend. I have got no idea why the group name is called that, but this song is nice. Blame it on September, cause it hurts to remember. We can fight to hold on, but August is gone. Kind of make sense. :)

I still can't believe, the way you look at me.

Last day of September. Am I ready to say goodbye? I don't want to think. September has been a stupid month. Life is all about taking risk. What's life without risk once in a while? :D Once in awhile, at odd places, I would think about certain stuff. There's no point turning back and pinning for the same thing to happen again. Smile because it happened, I remember telling myself that a long time ago, and I am telling myself that right now.

Smile, and the world smile with you.

Looking back, things have definitely change. Was I still the same person people knew? I do not think so. People change, feelings change. We must not be afraid to accept that change is part of our lives. Everything we do everyday may seem the same to us, but if you look back, change has taken place. Sometimes it hurts, because it's the memories that breaks us.

We tend to cling on to what we don't want to forget.

We all keep saying that we are still young. True enough, being just in my 20's, the night is still young. Life is waiting for us to embrace it and to enjoy it fully! Yet as the time passes, we realized that sometimes, while enjoying life, we should also learn to cherish and appreciate little things in life that we tend to miss. Learning to appreciate what life has given is the best reward one can have.

Life is beautiful, depending on the way we see it.

Life's a bitch, many would say. Life's tough. But it's all up to you how you want to live it, embrace it, enjoy it, screw it, see it. Obstacles are part of life, telling you in the face that you need some challenges to make your life much more interesting. :) Screw them, or you'll get screwed back. :P I find that I have changed. To say mature? I can't really tell, but I know I want to enjoy life, and look at it in a whole new perspective.

First week of July, first day of my life.

On another tone, that's why they call it summer romance. No summer last forever. Summer comes and go once a year. As I listen to the song, I guess it's time for me to say that this is just a summer romance. A way of life. Telling me in the face, this is how summer romance feels like. Short but sweet. We can fight to hold on, I hope we don't lose it all. There's only two ways it can go. You and I, we know which two ways. ;)

I can still see you standing there, summer tangled in your hair.

I know very well what my heart wants. I am not getting attached to you. I know very well how to control. But I guess, life also teaches us that bad stuff are easy to learn. We have to have the will power to learn the good stuff among all the bad. We often forget a person's good point, and remember a person's bad point. That's why I refuse to think about anybody's bad side. Nobody is perfect. I just want the good times, those good moments that we shared. Nothing else matters.

We do our best to pretend.

At certain points, there's a small part of me that refuse to let go, hoping that we could be everything and more. Summer ends. It hurts to remember. I always remind myself to stop being so caring towards everyone. Not everyone will treat me like I do to for them. I can't be too kind or generous, I end up getting trampled all over. I should return being the girl who didn't care. Ganas. Garang. Whatever, you named it. It was better that way, to protect myself and be a bitch. Relieving those memories, I laughed at how un-lady like I was back then!

The night turns colder, your head's on my shoulder.

Time, it's irreversible. You can't say the past isn't important. It's important because we learn from the past to be a better person in the future. Although the future is nothing but a blur, we live in the present, enjoy what we have every single day. Letting go does not mean giving up. It mean that you are strong enough to move on. I know how much I am worth, much better to be holding on to something that does not exist.

No we never cared, too young to be scared.

I know life is waiting for me to live it to the fullest. You are just a memory. I never did cry when 4 years went down the drain, but I cried for you. Made a fool by you, shame. Now I'm up once again, you are not worth my time. Not worth at all. I won't hate you, let time forgive you on my behalf, going back to being strangers, let time heal the rift between us. Summer romance, this is what it is. ;)

We are always learning, until the day our feet leaves this earth.

Punked. I'm beginning to take a turn in life like how Quinn Fabray in Glee did. No more playing nice. No more being kind. I remember you, yes you. The one who backstabbed me. I remember you, yes you. The one who forgotten while I remembered. Though it hurts to remember, I smile because it happened. Remember, it's mind over matter. You don't matter and I don't mind. ;)

Love fully. Speak freely. No 'what ifs'.
I'm a step closer to finding myself.

Enjoy this song. Lyrics are all among my words. Or if you want the lyrics, click here.

I remember the honesty between us.

Mr Know It All by Kelly Clarkson.

Mr know it all
Well ya think you know it all
But ya don't know a thing at all
Ain't it something y'all
When somebody tells you something bout you
Think that they know you more than you do
So you take it down another pill to swallow

Mr bring me down
Well ya like to bring me down don't ya
But I ain't laying down, baby
I ain't going down
Can't nobody tell me how it's gonna be
Nobody gonna make a fool out of me
Baby you should know that I lead not follow

[Chorus]
Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

Mr play your games
Only got yourself to blame
When you want me back again
But I ain't falling back again
Cause I'm living my truth without your lies
Let's be clear baby this is goodbye
I ain't coming back tomorrow


[Chorus]
Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

[Bridge]
So what, you've got the world at your feet
And you know everything about everything
But you don't
You still think I'm coming back but baby you'll see

[Chorus]
Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

Mr know it all
Well ya think you know it all
But ya don't know a thing at all
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

source

Don't Let Me Go by The Click 5.

I can see your shadow laying in the moonlight
I can feel your heartbeat playing on my right side
Every night I long for this, makin' up what I miss
I can hear you breathing letting out a sad sigh

You try so hard to hide your scars
Always on your guard

Chorus
Don't, don't let me go
Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, don't turn away
What can I say so you won't
No don't, don't let me go...

I can see the skyline fading in the distance
Tears are comin' down
I'm trying just to make sense
I don't listen to the radio just the engine and the road
I wonder if my words are makin' any difference

I dream and then it seems to end
But always comes again

Chorus

I'm comin' down
To where you're standing
I need you now or you'll be watchin'
Me hit the ground
With crash landing...

Chorus

Don't let me go...
Don't let me go...

source

Care too much.

Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive?
Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated?
Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most?
Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry and Help me?

I am strong. That's why I tend to be sensitive over certain issues.
I am kind. That's why people usually mistreat me.
I care too much. That's why I get hurt so much.
Say "I love you" when you mean it, say "I'm sorry" when you mean it, and "Help me" when you need it.

So much for being so emotional on this. HAHA. Forgive me. It's a copy paste status on Facebook. But basically, I really care too much. Because I'm willing to do that much but expect none in return. I have to find someone who will care as much as I care so that I don't get trampled on. Time to run out the house. Cheers!

Don't look for Love, it'll come when you least expect it.

周杰伦 - 开不了口

经典歌~

词:徐若瑄
曲:周杰伦


才离开没多久就开始担心今天的你过得好不好
整个画面是你想你想的睡不着
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样还有在你身上香香的味道
我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑
没有你在我有多难熬(没有你在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有你烦我有多烦恼(没有你烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层我试着努力向你奔跑
爱才送到你却已在别人怀抱

就是开不了口让她知道
我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑
你对我有多重要我后悔没让你知道
安静的听你撒娇看你睡着一直到老

就是开不了口让她知道
就是那么简单几句我办不到
整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看着
这些我都做得到但那个人已经不是我

source

Give or take.

Let it go; I won’t put it in my heart.

Anger; it will not solve anything.

Pain; it will fade away.

Forgive; unable to forget.

Naive; we are still young.

Irreversible; you and I are nothing.

Love; We were more than friends.

Care; too much given. Hurt in return.

Who cares, it’s not important anymore.




Overreact or immature, actions speak louder than words.

I don’t want to think anymore.

The scars, it’ll remain. Remind me of how we could be everything and more.

You can dislike me, hate me. But I will never hate.

You see my worst, I don't mind. Forget about me ever being good.

No no, you’re not the one for me.

"The pieces all fit together. Yet everything was falling apart."
— Nicholas Sparks (The Last Song)

Random.

Day 1.

I think I did mention about blogging on my Sri Lanka trip. Now, I am so lazy because I can't remember the places that I have been too! Overall it was a fun trip! My camera died halfway through on day 3, which resulted in less than 200 pictures for the day. =P I am currently STILL uploading those pictures on Facebook. Hassle much. I have a long queue of photos waiting to be uploaded!

Day 2.

I can go bonkers anytime soon. It's so boring doing this. Who ask me to leave those photos unattended? Now put the blame on myself. Whoosh~ I need to hurry. Photos from 2 months ago are only being uploaded right now. So means photos taken in the month of September will only appear in November? No no no~ I cannot let that happen!

Day 3.

Currently, so worried about my internship. I really have got no idea whether it's confirmed or not. Freaking stressed out about it! Don't know what to expect too when I start working! There's so many things I have to learn! I better work hard! HARD! ARRRRH!

3 months. ♥

Now back to editing photos. Random : "I freaking love the ocean, the beach, the sound of the waves!" Make sure I get enough rest for this few days. Damn I miss so many people right now. But I should not be missing people that does not miss me, right? Leftout, outcast, that's what I feel right now. How come? Why? I just have to get use to the current situation, like I always do. Adapt. I'm good at that. Time is all I need. :)

♥

Yeap. Freaking random. I miss how I can just stand alone on the beach, with the waves hitting the shore line and around my ankle. Walking alone on that sandy beach, listening to the sound of the waves. No matter day or night, the ocean brings peace to my heart. There's just a sense of calmness the ocean waves can bring. ♥

如何才能把你忘记
不想再为了你歇斯底里

Someone Else's Heart.

(Verse 1)
As I lay here on the bed my heart it speaks
I let it beat its beat, you feel the love it leaks
And I can't describe just how much of it is for you and what you do
But if I could love just one it would be you

(Pre-Chorus)
All this time, I was broken
Trying to find a love unspoken

(Chorus)
And I know ya want the same love,
That I've fought so long,
The one we thought was wrong,
And you know I, oh I, need your love
'Cause we can't fool ourselves,
into someone else's heart

(Verse 2)
And the days go on and on and they won't stop
I feel the pressure, I guess it will never drop
'Cause every time I think it gets better it gets worse than before
I don't know what I am doing this all for

All this time, I was broken
Trying to find a love unspoken
And I know ya want the same love,
That I've fought so long,
The one we thought was wrong,
And you know I, oh I, need your love
'Cause we can't fool ourselves,
into someone else's heart

(Bridge)
Let's give up the fight
And embrace it
Before we lose the love we've found
I know you're scared to death
But let's face it
All we have is now




source

No more.

Who are you, I do not know.
Who am I, only I know.
Those times were memories, irreversible.
You mean alot to me, I once said.
Why do you do this to me, I want to know.
Unspoken words, that's all you can write.

Different people, different views.
Complicated or not, Love is beautiful.

Wasn't, was it?

Unspoken words; why can't they be heard
Unspoken words; I long to hear them
Written down on paper, haunting me
Written down, your image haunts me
Why are you doing that
Why do you do that
Hurt or not, it cannot be undone
Real or not, it cannot be erased
Tell it to my face, I keep wondering
Scream at me, I need it
Why do you do that
Why can't you tell me


Goodbye; it's final
I can lie to others, but not my heart
There will always be, this tiny hope
One day, it'll be me and you
but it was never meant to be
I can lie, but my heart will cry
I can pretend, but my smile tells all
So many questions, unspoken
So many holes, unfilled
Why are you doing this to me
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery
Goodbye; is it final


Longing for answers, unreachable
Longing for you, 1000 miles apart
Pushed me away, rejected
Pushed me away, ignored
Everyone watching, shame
Everyone looked, glares
Why, it was hot
Why, it was cold
Action; you showed
Words; it was nothing
Yet you hung me on a tree
Left me there to rot


Listened to my heart
went down the wrong road
But why was it right in the first place
Everything was real, was it
Everything was good, was it
Perception changed, feelings change
People change, life change
Change is the law of life
Lean on me; I will take care
Lean on me; I'll be around
Courage; to let go
Courage; to let myself go


Agony; it was never meant to be
Pain; I cared so much
Tears; they were meant for myself
Heartache; being pushed away
Wounded; I will be bad
Hopes; dashed
Body shiver, heart crushed
Unspoken words; wish I can hear them
Words unspoken; tell them to my face
Take care, I know you will
Goodbye; tell me it's final
Nothing can happen anymore
Goodbye; I love you

It's intoxicating
But all I heard was nothing

Kept myself safe.

1 step, 2 step, 3 and 4
Each was a step, that should not be taken
Heart races, adrenaline rush
Those feelings were real
A mistake committed, unable to withdraw
landed me a spot right here right now
it became a choice, not a mistake
I thought I could, without realizing
for I should have known
Should have stayed away
Should have kept myself safe

Steps that cannot be withdrawn
Told me that I was too naive
Screaming at my face, get out fast
Never thought it would last
Never thought it would hurt
Never thought it would be this bad
1 step, 2 step, 3 and 4
Every step took was a disaster
Every step taken was a tragedy
Should have kept myself alive


Followed my heart, wrong place
My mind says, come back
A mistake, can't be undone
A step, can't be retraced
A love, can't be returned
Heart was wrong, everything was wrong
Then why was it right in the first place?
Drowning in confusion, I gasp for air
Sinking down in sadness, I struggle to crawl up
I should have really kept myself safe


It wasn't meant to be
It never was meant to be
Knew it from the start
Withdrawal was hard
I thought I could, without realizing
Fallen down that hole I dug my own
Why must it be so real?
Why must it feel so real?
I was lost in a world between
The ability to differentiate was grabbed from me
I need to protect myself


Took away my dignity
Tore away my sanity
Raped my virginity
Left me standing naked
Everyone knew, made me looked like a fool
An outcast, being left at the corner
Everyone looked, I shut the glares
Inside, it felt like fire
Strip me bare and left me standing in the cold
I need to cover myself


Just about to walk away, never turning back
One last touch took my breath away
Touch me, chilled me to the bones
Kiss me, made my heart raced
Caress me, burned me inside out
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run
Boiling inside, I killed whatever that's left of me
Tears of anger rushed out
Contained inside would destroy me
I walked with pride, head held high


Emotions run wild, tears run dry
Those words will haunt me

Unspoken words, written in letters
Haunting me, replaying scenes in mind
It was never meant to be
Too late to turn back
Cannot be undone
Only can be severed
Should have stayed away
Should have kept me safe from harm


1 step, 2 step, 3 and 4
Each step, a pain
The story of us, wasn't even a story
It wasn't even 500 days old
A simple complication lead to a fallout
Drowning in confusion, gasping for air
4 step, 3 step, 2 and 1
Steps that can't be traced
Words unspoken, walking in silence
Hands held, eyes that never met
Everyone watch, as the battle unraveled


My dignity, gone
My sanity, alive
My virginity, taken
My pride, hanging
Pretending is hard, I start to falter
My body waver, I felt foolish
Tears drown my cries for help
All around me people start to wonder
The stares, the glares; watching
The talk, the whisper; speaking
I tried to protect what's left of me


1 step, falling
2 step, fallen
3 step, dragged
4 step, crumpled
5 steps, broken
I learn to live
I learn to survive
Scars for life
Memories fading
Goodbye; it's final
Shame felt, bore right through
How many times, til I get it right
I should have kept myself safe





xxx





Copyrighted.
Written by syunz.

Unspoken words; haunt me 'til memories fade.

Sexy and I know it.

It's going to be over soon.


9 hours.

Feeling pretty IMBA because I did not finish studying yet I'm telling myself not to freak out. Not to panic. Controlling~ I best get some rest. Revise everything when I get up.

Damn.
I'm sexy and I know it.

I need that confidence. ;)

Love yourself before loving others.
A verse I know a long time ago.
and have applied it before I met you.

Temporary Bliss.

Random thoughts of the day.



Stupid hair smells awful.
I come home every night to cats blocking the way.
One black kitten is missing.
Wonder where that black kitten went.
The cats refuse to move even when I drove near them. -__-
How the hell to get rid of hair dye smell?
First time I actually work hard for exam.
History sucks, but it's worth studying with friends. :)
I need a change. Physically and mentally.
Fiery red. ;)
I'm keeping my head in the game.
Black nails to come.
Thick eyeliner?
You fill my mind.
Freaking hair still smells AWFUL after the second wash! WHY?!



It's back to my notes right now. Fight!

I can't keep touching you like this, if it's just temporary bliss.

If you ever come back.

We all get butterflies in the stomach when we see that someone. Don't we? Then we go all crazy trying to figure out is it just temporary or is it really L-O-V-E. When they start keeping a distance from you, you start to panic.

There's a risk of falling for someone who you don't know what their feelings are, for you. There's always a risk of getting hurt when you fall too deep even if you have already consider the consequences. There's always a risk to take, when you know you have feelings for someone.

Afraid that the friendship between you both will turn for the worse. You want to do something, but don't know what move should be taken. You want to have him close to you, but you are afraid that he will actually find out that secret of yours.

Is it L-O-V-E?

When you start reading his texts over and over, he becomes all you think about, and you always smile when you think about him. Day and night, you are wondering does he like you, what if he doesn't? Is that why he's keeping a distance from you? You try to keep your cool when you are around him.

If you are the kind of girl that isn't afraid to confess then go ahead, take that risk without thinking, go ahead and fall for him without thinking. Never expect that it will be something that will last, because if you do so, you will not know how to appreciate little things in life.

Over thinking ruins. Love is not so complicated at all. It's what we do and what we think that makes the whole thing seem complicated. When you have finish thinking about what you want, what you feel, you might have just miss that chance to love once again. But of course, never lead someone on, never play with people's feelings. Quit thinking so much, if it feels right, it probably is. So just go with it.

Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.
Quote by Kelvin Ng.

This is for you. You know who you are. ;)

I realized I was falling in love.
Is this even possible?

Through the rain.

I freaking need to blog. First, Facebook can't accommodate my rantings. Second, at least I'm updating, better than abandoning it like I used to.


Recently, stress has gotten to me. I finally succumb to stress. It wasn't that bad for the past 2 years since I started Uni. This time it's bad. Let me simplify it.

2 years ago, stress was :
- nothing
- pimples
- eating late night snacks to stay awake
- coffee has effect
- hyperness level = 100%
- workaholic
- Slow studying
- brain shrink
- sleepless nights
- Brain still able to function well after 3 days of no sleep

Now, stress is :
- mosquito bites
- headache
- lack of sleep
- hair loss
- freaking out
- hyperness level = 70%
- Trying to stay awake
- Blurness increase
- Brain shrink
- irregular sleeping times
- Panda eyes
- focus on road drop
- coffee has NO effect
- Brain total blank-out during presentation
- Worst of all, lost of appetite

Yeap. Basically I'm worried over my lost of appetite. Freakingly worried. I want it back to normal, but it takes time. People who knows me knows I can eat. Like EAT. People need one portion to fill their stomach, I need 2! But now, I barely even reach one person's portion. And when I can't eat, there's really SOMETHING wrong. Stress is getting to me. Yet all I could think now is that after all these is over, I will be able to sleep all I want, relax all I want. Yes. I'll fight for my last paper, my only paper for this semester, and I will win this battle. I will. (Hopefully~ I'm walking on a thin line which can break any moment.)



I so need a back rub, head massage, or practically, relaxation time at the spa right now. Blah~

What you fail to realize is that you are my motivation.

You wouldn't.

We all become writers when we meet love. We all get inspiration when we are in love. We sing a sad song when we don't get the person we love. We learn to look at the sky in a different angle when we fall. Every memory that flashes in our mind tells us a story we cherished.

We are all writers when we meet difficulties in the face by turning everything we feel, we experience, we see, we touch all into literature. Though words cannot describe everything, but it's the best way to let time heal everything we have been through to be a stronger us.

****************************************************

Throwing whatever feelings I have left for you into that dark hole, let it eat up those feelings, so that it will no longer exist. Just like the rest, once confessed, I hold back, refusing to take another step further to pursue. That embarrassment, no confidence, afraid of rejection, expecting, all stands in the way. Knowing that I should throw all those away and just go ahead, but I guess it's the fear of stepping outside my comfort zone that stands in the way.

I would like to be a girl who has the courage to pursue what she wants, having that determination to fight for what she wants, never giving up. We always want to be someone else. Yet my current limit is up to just a confession.

There's a girl that confessed her love for a guy 3 times on national TV and got rejected all 3 times. It's going to hurt terribly but that's the kind of courage I do not have. To bring it a step further. To keep trying. It's always confessing, then being too shy to do anything else. Furthermore, I do not like to scare people off.

Maybe I should step out of my comfort zone, challenge myself to reach limits I haven't discover. Maybe for once, I should screw all those life philosophy and just listen to my heart. Let it guide me.

Dance like nobody's watching. Sing at the top of your lungs.

Life's a bitch. :)

I don't play with feelings.

Architecture 101 : 2

2. A figure is an element or shape placed on a page, canvas, or other background.
Ground is the space of the page.

A figure is also called an object, form, element, or positive shape. Ground is alternately called space, residual space, white space, or field.

From 101 Things I learned in Architecture School by Matthew Frederick.

王力宏 《火力全开》

打倒帝国主义
不愿再做奴隶
我家大门被入侵
你说lady卡卡
我说何必怕他
喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~
别向她们磕头
文化是武器
埋在每根神经
被优人神鼓打醒
绝不允许失败
胜利不必等待
因為music-man的到来
忽然间整个世界开始在摇摆
节奏和音乐入侵了血脉
这次的战略是火力全开
火力全开 火力全开 火力全开

so many sccusations
of an asian invasion
here they come a pointin' fingers at me
preyin’on a mass emotion
stirrin’up a big commotion
trying to assign responsibilities
gonna stop this negativity
turn it into positivity with integrity
give it all of me
for all to see
this fight for equality
but even if they blame us
try to frame us nobody can shame us
i’m a sing this next verse in Chinese

外面整个世界谁在跳摆
节奏和音乐入侵了血脉
这次的战略是火力全开
火力全开 火力全开 火力全开
喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~

喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~
火力全开
喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~
火力全开
喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~
火力全开
喔喔喔喔喔喔喔~~
火力全开
火力全开

Damn it's a whole new 王力宏! Love the beat. Love the chorus. Except the part where it sounded like Ke$ha's song Blow. -__________- He looked like he lost weight. It's good to see him back still looking at amazing. Damn. So this is what it feels like to be in love with a guy so good looking like him, so talented.


Freakingly in love right now. It's insane. ♥ He's just so darn good looking.

Tough but I'll pull through. :)

Have faith.

Have faith.

I feel freaking free right now! Friday only start studying for my paper. My only paper I have for this finals. Movie tomorrow, window shopping, IKEA meatballs~ :D I have to freaking DIG out whatever works I have at home and bring them on Friday. Oh, and suddenly I realized that Friday is a public holiday. Right.

Anyways, I'm glad presentation is over. I was *this close* to giving up. I was *this close* to losing my mind. I had the feeling that I'm about to lose this battle. But I was relieved that I actually managed to complete my presentation board as well as model in time!! :D This really calls for a celebration! :D


Officially, I have been up for 30 hours before I crash at a friend's place. Freaking 30 hours. I can't go on like I used to. 3 days without sleep was my record. ROAR. I don't want to risk my life driving home like I did in the morning driving to Uni. It was freaking me out how much energy I had to channel to just keep myself focus on the road and everything was such a blur while I drove. Scary much.



I'm so going to sleep like nobody's business when I hit home later and start to fight for my only paper on Friday.

Ugh.
October.
Fuck finals.

Take a chance.
you never know what might happen.

Every paragraph has it's meaning. Every paragraph is related.

Okays. I finally am at the finally touches of my work! Rejoice! PLus, at least I'm updating my blog and not leaving it to rot. :) So basically this is just a reblog of what I previously wrote at my Tumblr. I'm *this close* to finishing on time this time round! Damn I got a happy feeling and I wish I can crash into my bed right now but am multitasking right now. Youtube, Tumblr, Lightroom, Adobe Illustrator. Tell me, girls are awesome in multitasking. =P


Now, everything is completely my own way of seeing things. My own personal opinion. If it's too personal for you to read then remember to just go ahead and click the little 'x' at the top left corner :D


I don’t believe in true love anymore. It’s not like the movies, where one look, and you just know that he/she is the one you are looking for.

Reality check : maybe I have yet to experience it. Time will tell either I will meet someone who will sweep me off my feet or not.

Yes, truth to be told, you have to be prepared to be in a relationship with someone. You have to be ready to go through all the hardship together, the good and bad times, accepting the person for who he/she is. But that does not mean you have to be prepared to accept Love. The more you prepare yourself, the more un-prepare you will be. The time will never be right.

Read more here.

Now, back to completing my work and wait to face hell in the face. Oh boy.

Oh. I got to freaking sweep my room. :)

我們都傻

Architecture 101 : 1

I just suddenly feel like blogging. I was searching to see whether I had the book I was searching for and I found my book on 101 things I learned in Architecture school. Interesting book that I have yet to flip through. Have got many books but sometimes I'm just plain lazy. :X Now to share it with the world is another thing. Here goes nothing! :D

Number 1 : How to draw a line.

1) Architects use different lines for different purposes, but the line type most specific to architecture is drawn with an emphasis at the beginning and at the end.This practice anchors a line to the page and gives a drawing conviction and punch. If your lines trail off at the ends, your drawings will tend to look wimpy and vague. To train yourself to make strong lines, practice making a small blob or kickback at the beginning and end of every stroke.

2) Overlap lines slightly where they meet. This will keep corners from looking inappropriately rounded.

3) When sketching, don't "feather and fuzz" your way across the page - that is, don't make a vague-looking line out of many short, overlapping segments. Instead, move your pencil from start to end in a controlled, fluid motion. You might find it helpful to draw a light guide line before drawing your final line. Don't erase your guide lines when the drawing is complete - they will lend it character and life.

Now back to work. Another one tomorrow. :)

From 101 Things I Learned in Architecture School by Matthew Frederick.

Freakshow!

I am seriously freaking out. Paced back and forth for the Nth time in my room as well as the hall downstairs. I deactivated my Facebook last night but activated it back again after a few hours. Damn I have no determination. Then now my Facebook is deactivated once again and I am trying so hard, control, not to open Facebook to see. It's going to stay that way. (As if I can control. HAHAH. Wait. I CAN DO IT! :D) It's killing me inside not able to think of how to draw and complete my Autocad drawing.

No Facebook, I figure it's time for me to pay some attention to my blog. :D I'm currently stressed-out, which make me lose my appetite for food. Freaking out that I just keep pacing back and forth just to come out with something. Damn. It's freaking myself out! Wait. I am not at the peak of my stress yet. Hahah. While pacing back and forth earlier on, I got no idea what the heck I was thinking. All those words that came out from my mouth were something I would say during my presentation. It's as though I am preparing for my presentation! Crap.

Oh. Not to mention I keep having random thoughts running through my mind from time to time. I can suddenly just blurt out something like : "You can't lose what you never had." Stuff like that. (Ok that was because I listened to a song) You get my point. Random thoughts. Like my philosophy on life. I'm so screwed right now blogging right now. Sleeping time screwed up, eating time screwed up, not to mention even my shower time also screwed up! Fuck. Apparently I'm cooped up at home since Sunday. Well, it's all going back to normal after Wednesday. Hopefully.


And a reminder to self, scheduled another interview with Mode Architects this Thursday regarding internship next month. I cannot imagine myself going for internship. LOL. Like seriously, I really can't. Then it's back to study for history on Friday. Now, Autocad, please don't hang up on me. (Somehow I prefer manual drawing)

Failing to plan is planning to fail.