Blue.

A little video for your entertainment. =P

It was the best night ever! The day has finally arrived and boy, it was an excitement that I have never felt in a long time! The feeling when I was in the arena waiting for them to appear, and when they appeared, it was indescribable! That tingling effect that shot through the whole body, it was superb! I couldn't believe my own eyes that it's them standing there, dancing, singing and talking to us all!

So what am I talking about? =D

BIGBANG's ALIVE GALAXY TOUR 2012 in MALAYSIA!! =D

It was and will be always that amazing! Their performance was super awesome! My friend and I said it was YENG! I started the day by waking up at 8am, just to be at the venue by 11pm. The sun was hot, screw it. It rained quite heavily, screw it too. Because rain or shine can't stop us from attending the concert! But of course, the rain was a little annoying because not only we were hot from the sun, we were all hot from wearing the raincoat! It even rained heavier right before the concert started! =( Bummer. But thank God the skies were awesomely clear after the rain! =D

 Wristbands! 

I have been looking for these ever since I knew they were coming to Malaysia! ^^

Yes! T.O.P banner! =D

For his birthday~!

 A very candid shot of me holding the YG BB light sticks! 

So happy! =D

My haul after the concert. 

It was worth it. ;)

One word to describe the entire concert - FANTASTIC. Seriously. It was the BEST. The moment the appeared to the moment the concert end, it was such a beautiful night. The moment they started beat boxing, it was uberly MAD! The moment they started speaking English, the screaming was MAD! The moment TaeYang took his shirt off for T.O.P, it was freaking MAD! There goes my throat, there goes my head. =D It was really worth it. Everything was worth it, for them. 

24/7, My Heaven. ♥

"Still having a Beautiful Hangover from the Last Farewell. In the Cafe, don't stop the Feeling. Everyone is so High High, putting their Hands Up, not wanting Tell them Goodbye. They are Bad Boys, they are Monsters. But what they do and what they are is Fantastic Baby, 24/7 My Heaven!! ♥ Haru Haru we are BIGBANG VIPs Until Whenever! ♥"

 You really should be here.

With me.

You would scream. ;)

無盡的思念。

[2 Days]

"Sixth. Since the beginning of time, we were never single to be able to date each other. All we did was flirted and played around. Then since July, everything changed. You are Who I love, for I have not felt such passion the moment our lips touched. You are What I love, for you were the reason I couldn't find a reason, not even an excuse to why I had feelings for you. You are When I love, someone I gotten rid of my fears for, not knowing when I can love again. You are Where I love, the fun I have been looking for, and places that is to be explore, just to be with you. You are Why I love, for I know now what I am looking for, and who deserve my love.

And you, will be my last."

Here's something like a sequel to my previous post. We all don't necessarily need to love 5 people to help shape who we are. It may be 4, or even 3, to be the Who, What, When, Where and Why. Because from a person one can learn not only to love, but more then that if you are willing to open up your heart to see, touch and feel.

"Well written," a friend said. 

I don't know how well it was written, but everything is from the bottom of my heart. I have never been more serious about the last. I just hope that whatever I have written down here in my blog, he sees it, he reads it. But whether is he touched by it I don't know. Because all he is, is cool. I can't feel his sincerity maybe. =/ Or maybe I am just being unappreciated. And I told another friend of mine that I am serious about the last. It's really the last of the last that my heart can take. 

"If it doesn't work out, then I don't know what will."

"I can see you're trying really hard"

"Then I shall become a nun. LOL."

"Nun your head!"

"If I can't save this relationship then so be it."

"I don't know how to tell you lah but.. you're a good good gf lah. Susah nak cari."

And my friend went like on saying "Apa you mau lagi kawan?"

"If me, sure appreciate kao kao, hold on kao kao!"

It was a funny conversation with serious tones in it! I know I'm worth it. Worth so much that even money can't buy. And those last few words reminded me of the past. So yes I am determined and if I can't save this relationship, then I don't know what will already. All I can say at the end is it will be his lost. Not mine.

And I do not know how else more to express my seriousness. I just really hope he feels the same. Longed for hugs, I really wish I can have him for this weekend. But in reality, I just hope, and wish, that he can spend some time with me, like how I would do, for him. Spending time hanging out at places we know, spending time exploring new stuff and places. Do what most couples would do. It's that simple.

That's all.

Paying attention.

Is it that hard?

Or maybe, just maybe,

you're missing her.

The Last.

[3 Days]

Today's post is different from usual. Not random stuff that is in my head, but inspired to blog by the latest video from WongFu Production - The Last. =)

Just one simple question, and it got me thinking, just how many have I loved?

Sometimes, we would like to know how many were there before he/she is with you, or are you the one and only. Doing this will make me dig back those old memories that I have long buried down under some place, but it's good to reminisce on how far I have come to this stage where I am right now. So how many have I loved?

Five. 

Who are they? and What are their names?

They are part of who helped shaped my life.

They are Who, What, When, Where and Why. 

First, Who I loved, was a guy from my high school. I wasn't exactly close to him, he was a junior. 3 years my junior. He was my real first love, I guess. And it was with him I had a taste of what heartbreak felt like. I fell hard for him, and it took months to recover from the heartache. From him I realized that it's not easy loving someone, and a taste of what love is like.

Second, What I loved, was a randomly met guy at a music stall. It was out of the blues that my friend and I got to know him and we both fell for him, which ruined our friendship for awhile. Stole my first kiss, he gave me the impression of a playboy yet he's loving at the same time. From him that I slowly rid of certain bad habits, and love music even more.

 Third, When I loved, was one of my primary classmate. So unexpectedly, we hooked up after a reunion party. He was when I learned to really love someone, and know the meaning of loving another person. Yet, he also showed me that time is needed to spent on the other half or else the relationship will fail. From him I love Love.

Fourth, Where I loved, was like the perfect guy to me. We met in college, half a year later. And it was after the breakup that he was there for me, telling me that new memories can be made. I didn't intend for it to be so long. He was the one for me, to the extend of thinking about the future with him. From him that I learned the most, shaping me into the person I am today.

Fifth, Why I loved, is a summer love, that can blossom into something so much more, but was left to wither. It was young love once again. It was him that made me think that it is possible to be in love once more. Talking til daylight, grinning from ear to ear, that was summer. From him I learn how to differentiate infatuation from love, and to know my values.

Now, because of all these, I learn to take care of myself, love myself, and protect my heart. Memories came back, but they are the reason I smile. Don't cry, because it's over; Smile, because it happened. =) I am a better person and with the capability to truly love a person without anything in return. 

Then there's you.

Sixth. Since the beginning of time, we were never single to be able to date each other. All we did was flirted and played around. Then since July, everything changed. You are Who I love, for I have not felt such passion the moment our lips touched. You are What I love, for you were the reason I couldn't find a reason, not even an excuse to why I had feelings for you. You are When I love, someone I gotten rid of my fears for, not knowing when I can love again. You are Where I love, the fun I have been looking for, and places that is to be explore, just to be with you. You are Why I love, for I know now what I am looking for, and who deserve my love.

And you, will be my last.

Indulged in work. 

Action speaks louder than words.

It Will Rain.

[4 Days]

So, another random post from me again. Let's get started. =)

1) My appetite is back to normal! =D *happy* Why am I so happy? Because I am finally feeling hungry during normal eating hours. Lunch hour, stomach growling. Dinner time, stomach making super lots of noise! Which proves that I normal once again! So much for the past few weeks of not having the feeling of hungry. FOOD. I'm back! =D

2) Which comes to me needing to hit the gym again. Next week. I shall let my body enjoy and rest as much as it can then it's gym time next week! I can feel the fats piling up at unnecessary areas. Not good, not good. Plus, have to build up my stamina once more. Can't be lazy now! Need motivation!! =(

HAVE. TO. GYM.

NEXT. WEEK.

3) On the contrary, Iron Man 3 trailer is OUT! GOOD SHIT. HAVE. TO. WATCH. Period.

4) I had a thought on my way back from work and boy, I never thought of it. I like my bosses! Although yes, if you do not do your work properly or can't produce work they sure will screw you real bad. Nonetheless, I like chatting with them at times. Though of course, there's the employer-employee barrier. My bosses are really funny! ^^

5) A really random one. My father just told me that he got stopped by police at a road block on Monday night. Why? Due to road tax expired. Not only that, my father said he didn't realized his road tax expired in July! Goodness, it's October now! I had a good laugh. Really! =D

6) Now yes it does feels good to get work done. I'm content, happy about it, although sometimes I think I take pretty much the whole day to get one task done. =/

7) Graduation photos are still all over! Even my boss asked about my convocation. Next March I told him, and said that I'll invite him to go. He asked me go for what? And I jokingly told him to bring flowers for me. =P I really had a good laugh sometimes talking to him. =)

8) I want a weekend getaway! Or rather, I need a weekend getaway! I am starting to think about a getaway for like end of every month! I don't care where. I just want to have fun somewhere away from home. I see friends flying off to Korea, Taiwan, I also want to fly! Then I see friends going to PD, Redang, or where ever there's beaches, I also want to go! I'm a travel junkie! =( In short, I just need a weekend getaway every month. It shall be a little reward for myself for getting through working life every month! (^_^)

9) Another 4 days! =D *HYPER* *HYPE* WHOO~ ^^ ♥♥♥

10) Last but not least, something for all. Love, is not all about the time spent together, but also the time spent away from each other. ;)

I really do hope the long time is a really really long time. 

A few years, or even a few decades. ^^

There's a feeling, every time I look at you, it's indescribable. ♥

Titanium.

[5 Days!!]

  A panorama view of Desa Parkcity from a point. =)

1) It really has been quite a long time since I last went to Desa Parkcity for a walk. The last time I was there was during the Mid-Autmn festival, which I drove around the place and left. Was supposed to be there with family but end up lonely on Mid-Autumn festival. =( 

Went there on Sunday night and realized there were some changes, like the grass grew taller than me, and some plants were not around anymore. But nonetheless, I still love the place. ^^  ♥

2) The weekends was good. This coming weekend is going to be even better with BIGBANG's concert! =D *HYPE!* ♥ 'nuff said. =D

3) Got a shade darker. Slightly darker due to the scorching hot sun when I was in Kampar. It's always hotter up north. Why?! But I love the sun nonetheless. =D

4) First site meeting with my boss today! Pretty excited! And boy, it was interesting! Everyone involved in the project was there, and I have so much more to learn! Slowly but surely, it's coming back to me now. =)

 

The project in Cheras to be demolished and rebuilt. =)

I also got to chat with my one of my boss as well. Both of my bosses are different and chatting with them is GOOOD. =) Interesting topics were exchanged today and I thoroughly enjoy it much! =D

5) Graduation photos all over Facebook. I can't stand it! I can't wait for my turn! Next March! It would be awesome if it's during my birthday week! =P Another 4 months then! Heeee~~ ^^ ♥

6) God knows how many times I snoozed my phone alarm this morning. Seriously.

7) I realized I always end with something related to love, and this post is not an exception. Making me think, here's a quote for all. Taken from Tumblr. 

How I wish to share my life with you, because that's the way it should be.

"Life itself is Architecture."

Words by my boss, Adrian.

 Communication breakdown maybe? =(

Severely.

[6 Days left!]

1) BIGBANG concert is just 6 days away! So excited! But I have yet to settle my transport to the venue. Initially having transport to not having transport. I is in dire need of transportation to Stadium Merdeka on Saturday evening! =(

2) I am still editing and uploading photos of my Cambodia trip in July. Work for 5 days, I come home without turning on my computer. If I'm home early I would turn it on, just to let my torrent downloads run through the night.

3) For the first time in my life, I attended friends convocation. I always see photos of friends attending their friend's convo, or vise-versa, now I get to taste what is it like to attend a convocation just for a bunch of friends. Drove all the way up to UTAR Kampar just for the graduating bunch of ME peeps. ^^

Congratulations to all!

 Flowers, scrolls, mortarboard, robes, gifts and all, 

all the best in the future and may our paths cross again! =)

4) I am recently slightly stressed for work. Geez man. I get stressed 'til I go crazy in the office. Hyper to be exact. Having my first site meeting tomorrow morning! I don't know what to expect, but I have to make sure the rest of my work is done. So screwed.

5) Don't run. Don't hide. Open up your heart and soul to me, for I will love you regardless of your flaws. And I will be by your side through the good and bad. Nothing is complicated if the heart and mind is not complicated. ♥

Looking at the words stuck to my laptop, 

I will tell you the same.

P/S: I ♥ You!

A post a day?

It's like a blog post a day. Because I just feel like it, and because I have to make up for all the times I said I will blog. 

It's a rainy night, and it puts me to sleep, which I need so much right now as it's going to be a long, long day at the office. Meeting early in the morning. 9AM. Can you believe it? So all the more the sleep early. =)

Appetite's coming back once more, but I really have got no idea what to feed my stomach. I'm still on meds, and that kind of suck. Oh wells. Better be well than unwell!

Oh! And, who says you can't be single but unavailable? My colleague says there's no such thing like that. Well, as far as I know, my heart's taken, so I'm no longer available, and I wish it'll stay this way for years to come. =)

Time to hit the shower, then ready for bed! I'm so in love with my bed recently, or maybe it's just today.

I'll be the one.

Loving the kisses! ♥

The way you make me feel.

The way you make me feel. 

Not so strong, yet subtle enough to make me miss you.

And when I say I miss you, I really do miss you with all my heart. 

It's not just a feeling. It's more than just a feeling. ;)

And if you don't feel the way I do, it's alright.

I still want you to know that I miss you. ♥

So many words. Really.

I wish I can spend more time with you.

You take my breath away every time we kiss.

Ten.

[13 Days]

 

It's a Sunday and almost half a day is gone. I realized that I have been blogging quite frequently nowadays, compared to a few months ago while I was still studying. I mean, I got no time to even sleep, where got time to blog? I know I always blog about food and all, but nowadays, the food all goes to my page in Facebook. (Click HERE for link).

Now, I just completed the Nike We Run KL 2012 last night. 10 random thoughts for today maybe?

1) I am not up to par for the run this year. Unable to run, I practically walked all the way to the finish line. I can't run, so I walked. Walking also killed my legs. Go figure! LOL. At least I know I completed the whole 10KM journey. =)

2) I'm getting better, though there are still minor parts that I am aware of. Thank you to all that cared. I know many advised against the Nike Run, but I still went for it. Very sorry for that but do know that I will never forget those words you all have said to me. Taking care of myself is not be a problem with the help of many. ;)

3) I am always listening to 爱FM on Sunday afternoon now. Because there are many old Chinese songs to be heard on the radio! All the classic songs, they are so nice and the lyrics is so meaningful. Always enjoy the oldies, and maybe it's just because I'm getting old? Blah~

4) Just rid my nails of the blue metallic paint. I wonder what's next? =)

5) Back to work tomorrow! Oh no~ The thought of it, scary. I wonder what kind of words will I get bombarded with from my boss. Sigh. Might as well prepare myself for it. =( Sobs

6) Hugs are good. And I miss giving hugs to loved ones. I hope I can hug you as often as I can and whenever I want to. *hugsss*

7) Editing photos are really time consuming. Especially they are photos that are from 4 months ago. My Cambodia trip photos are still under developing process, although the editing I do is minor. Like real minor. Still, there are LOADS. Go figure, I just snap at anything.

8) A new catchy song to get hooked on! Die Young by Kesha. ;)

9) Oh! I have completed my studies and am considered a fresh grad now! Yippee! I have officially graduated as results are out and stated on the slip is completion of study! ^^ The next step in life right now is to continue further my studies. No idea where, or when yet. But I have to do my masters, no matter what it cost. =/

10) Slowly but surely, everything will be alright. Slowly but surely, everyone will know. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I am telling you that everything will be worth it. Slowly but surely, just take my hand, I can show you the world at a whole new level. ♥

我不需要一个理由去爱，只需要另一个的爱。

Hearts for everyone. ♥

It takes just a fraction of your time to care about someone. It takes just that few minutes of your time to care about someone. No matter where they are, they would always like to know that you are thinking of them, no matter how busy. Just know, you will always be on my mind every time I open my eyes, and before I go to sleep at night. ♥

1) I'm happy to say that I am home! So glad to be home, and my body needs plenty of rest! Yet I am determined to complete the Nike Run this Saturday, although it may take me longer time than my record last year. I still am determine to run it. Slow and steady. ;) 

2) My body is still weak. I'm still on meds. =( Pretty down about it, but it'll all pass in awhile. As long as I remember to take my meds regularly. =P Yet, I am dancing about in the house! ^^

3) I no longer have to wear a mask. I smile when I want to, I frown when I want to. The mask that I used to wear has slowly wear off. No longer a fake smile, my heart is happy. =)

4) I really really want to thank those who came to visit me while I was in the hospital rotting. Yes, rotting. I was getting better, and the better I get, the more I felt that I could fall sick by just staying another day in that room. Geez. Anyways, in no particular order, here's to all that visited. Thank you so much. ♥

Daddy - From the start I already knew you memang banyak sayang aku punya. No doubt about that. Thank you so much for every single thing since young. I sayang you too my dear daddy. ♥

7Ku - My aunt, for driving me to see the doctor, then fetching me to the hospital and staying with me until my dad arrives, as well as cooked food for me, even if I can't eat. Love you much too! Really appreciate! ♥

Matthew Sia - Thanks for dropping by! It was a surprise and I didn't expect you to come! Thank you for staying with me too after my aunt left after lunch. Although I think I slept most of the time. =/ Always good to have a friend around. ♥

Mun Hon -  I remember you saying that you'll always be around for me no matter what. And I thank you greatly for that. It's always great to have a friend like you that I can count on. A part of you have grown in me, just like a part of me has grown in you. Thank you for the caring. ♥

Peng Yi, Ming Yi, Aunty Hedy and friend - Thank you for coming! Surprised really. Was so entertained! HAHAHAHAH~ Love you bunch! Thanks for the flowers and fruits too Aunty Hedy! Also special thanks to my other aunts Kuan Yi, Peng Yi and Ming Yi for the caring. ♥

Helmy, Shah, Madi & Farid | JK, Loh, Josephine & Pierre - Wow guys. Thanks for dropping by during lunch hour! I know you strict is our bosses but yay! I am so happy to see you all! So happy that you guys came to see me! Hee~ Thanks so much for the care~ See you guys on Monday! =D ♥

Dawson Tan - Thanks for dropping by too! I was really growing mushrooms already. And it was great seeing you again! It's been awhile! :) ♥

Shangee, Wong & Steven - Thank you 3 fellas for visiting too! It was nice to see you 3! Love to hear you guys brag about stuff but try to tone down the bragging because it ain't good aite? Especially you Mister Wong Kok Weng. Always making me wanna punch you with every word that comes out of your mouth! Anyways, I want to hear more stories~ =) ♥

2Ku, 6Ku, Ah Pek & wife - Thanks for dropping by too after the rain! Really appreciate it! It's always good to see you all. =) ♥

Jit Jiang & Chin Wei - Gosh~ Thank you both for dropping by for a visit! Happy to see you both! It's always great to see familiar faces that I miss so much! Hee~ Want to see you all again man! Take care alright? Especially you Miss Kwong, thank you so much for being here for me. Thank you so much for the caring. ♥

Wei Zhe & Juli Chai - GOODNESS. THIS IS THE BIGGEST SURPRISE I CAN EVER GET!!! LIKE FOR REAL!!! Real life surprise! DAMN! Thank you so much Juli for being here for me as well. I could not have asked for more. =') And Wei Zhe, damn, I really really jumped out of the bed just to greet you! Holy crap! It has been YEARS. Miss you much! I'll always remember that moment when Juli opened the door and all I saw was Wei Zhe. xD ♥

Aurea, Jeremy C & Jeshua C -  You guys were the last visitors I had. And the most tired visitors I ever had. LOL. But it was a good chat session as well. Fart. Remember. =D ♥

I seriously hope I did not miss anyone. Also got to thank the nurses who took care of me. ♥ for all~ 

5) I really also have to thank all that messaged me and asked as well. Thanks to all for the caring and love. Life is complete with friends you know who will be there for you when you are at your worst. Friends who are there even if you can't see them. Heart all of you! ♥

And thank you for being there for me as well that night.

♥Just by having you there was more than I could ever ask for. ♥

Be appreciative of little things in life, because they mean the most. ♥

Please.

I want to do something, to salvage what we have.

I want to do something, to make this work.

I NEED to do something, to make this work.

But from the signs I get I just don't know what I can do. 

And so, I keep my distance.

"Say I love you, and you're not listening."

"How long can we keep this up? "

 Can you please not make me feel this way?

Disappointment.

[20 days] 

Though there are so many questions in the head, and I know I have tried to do something to salvage, to not have the same shit happen all over again. In the end, there are only these few words to be said.

I am so much better and worth so much more. I know what am I to you right now and you don't deserve me. I tried to show you that I care, that I love you, but all I was to you was a rebound and nothing more. Thank you for thanking me for that smile on your face.

You can prove me wrong by turning things around. 

You can do something, but you didn't.

I gave you the chance but you just didn't know how to grab it.

Your loss. And there goes everything we had.

Just keep smiling. No point losing a smile so bright. ;)

One word, and I melt in your arms once again.

Just because, I still have hope.

Somebody to love.

[26 days]

I finally got a glimpse of the moon through my curtains from where I am sitting right now! =D Like finally. Because I didn't catch the moon, not even it's shadow during the weekends! So here it is now, staring at me over the roof, from a distance.

Again, numberings. I kinda detest long essays I used to write in the past. Makes everything look so messy! 

1) My heart beat is speeding up! Damn. I realized that being in love is such an amazing thing, as long as you don't go and ruin it by stupid thoughts and doubts and insecurities. Just being in love is awesome! Gives you butterflies in your stomach, actually, it doesn't really.

To me that is. Being in love is an indescribable feeling, it travels through your veins, make your blood pump, heart beats faster, chills you to the spine, and leaves you breathless! Damn.

2) I am, and can't get enough of BIGBANG! All 5 of them is so... I just can't find the right words to describe them. I mean, there is no words good enough to describe them all! I'm so in love with them, especially T.O.P.!!!

3) I cannot stop mentioning and talking about it that it drives me insane! This is how much I love them! I freaking love them!! Awwh~ I'm going nuts. I have not been such a fool since a long time, ever since I found out about LeeHom, and it was him. Not it's T.O.P. which literally captures part of my heart. ♥ Oh I am really so in love, and it's nothing like I've ever felt!

4) Enough of BIGBANG for awhile, I'm kind of in a jolly mood right now. For today. I'm being jolly, funny, just the part of me I miss but I can't have that in the office. Oops. =X I have been laughing and doing my work, trying to get my head wrapped around what I am doing. One step at a time. =)

 5) I am catching up on my TV shows recently means I am beginning my download frenzy again. =D Bones! Glee! The Voice! And How I Met Your Mother!! So far it's these 4 because I stop watching True Blood, CSI Miami has ended (though I haven't watched it), Top Gear hasn't return, and Once Upon A Time is on break. Watching The Voice as I type this. =)

6) "One step at a time. Get my head back in the game. Take my heart out of the market. No more." My own statement for today. A brand new start for this month, by taking one step at a time. Two things: I need to search for my passion once more, by getting my head back into the game that I started out with. And I need to take my heart off the market, and safe keep it, for I am worth so much more. I am priceless. ;)

7) Dyed my hair on Sunday! Not long enough for the colour to be absorb by my hair but at least it makes my hair looks better instead of being uneven. Let me save money to go for a proper dye. Bright colour yo! ^^ I need to consider getting a tattoo too, to which my father would kill me. =P

Love you, love me more.

Love me, love you more.

A song to end the night. =)

If you get lost you can always be found, just know that you are not alone. ;) ♥

Opportunities are given. It's up to you to grab them while you have the chance.