Updating......

Lights.

My love for photography grew, just like my love for you will always grow.

It has really been quite awhile. I long time actually, that I haven't blogged. It's been what? A month plus! Oh wells, I have nothing much to blog about anyways ever since I started working and haven't gotten much time to even edit/filter photos from everywhere! (Which explains why my photos are taking so long to get uploaded to Facebook!)

Random rants/updates/rubbish.

1) Work is good. End of June and first few weeks of July was good. After that everything went downhill for no apparent reason. Time seemed to be ticking by bloody slow, and the days pass as if time just some how got stuck. 

2) Have been pretty active for the last one month plus due to City Harvest Church having their yearly event of EMERGE. Pretty interesting categories lined up and the fight among 4 clusters begin! I got to know about it last year and this year I am part of it! :)

3) Whereas I can't say the same for myself. Due to time moving at snail pace during working hours and for almost 2 weeks, adding the on-going EMERGE from CHCKL, I was practically burned-out last week. Like seriously. I couldn't focus at work, then when it's way pass working hours I kept thinking how much work I have to be done. Not to mention I have been going to church for 8 days straight. Sleeping at 2am and forcing myself up at 830am.

4) No the other hand, I am enjoying the sports I am taking part in as well as the friends I am making. :) Keeps me entertained and happy. But deep inside I became depressed since last weekend. I thought to myself that I have to make myself happy, and that it was a choice - to stay this way or be awesome. But somehow, I just couldn't. I just can't! *frustrated*

5) I still have trust issue with him. I trust him to a certain extend but to what extend? Sigh. Or maybe it's just me having trust issues with myself. After thinking of everything, I keep putting the blame on myself for not understanding or not giving him space or not this or that. I mean, in my mind I know there's nothing wrong with me but instead I guess I felt something. Jealousy, insecurity, all sorts of what I should not be feeling. Sigh

6) I guess Love is the only reason I need. I didn't complain on how I had to wait for him or how I had to pick him up and ferry him to and fro. I don't mind at all, not one bit. Trust me, I don't mind at all. I would go to the end of the world and back just for him as well. Oh damn, I'm too much. D< Hate myself for that. Argh. 

7) Current location: PENANG! :D 

Happy because I get FOOOOD! There goes my weight. And so I am typing this post from my run-downed house right here in the heart of the Penang island, on my bed all wrapped up in my jacket and blanket, at the same time wishing that he could be here with me. 

Somehow everything with him is so easy to get used to. I refuse to cry in front of him, but it hurts when I hold those tears back. For every wrong I have done, I sincerely apologized.

We can do better.

“You will never find what you are looking for in love,

if you don’t love yourself.”

— Lady Gaga

I'm not afraid of not seeing you, I'm afraid of missing you.