Sometimes I think I portray what I want people to think of me instead of being myself. I write about things I want people to see and think about me. It's sort of creating a story about me, about who I am but instead, I start to question myself. Is that who I am or is it who I want to be?

It's so easy how I sink into such a depressing mood. I'm so tired right now I can drop dead any moment. My panda eyes are so obvious right now. There are just so many questions in my head, making me wonder who am I exactly? Am I showing what I want to be? Or is it who I am? Suddenly, I am fighting my own demons, crying silently inside, hoping someone would notice. I'm breaking apart. I guess I am really breaking apart. I have no idea what am I doing, or rather why am I doing it. Then suddenly, I can't seem to remember who I was, or who I am supposed to be.


Who am I? Some deep thinking needs to be done. Some control over myself is needed. Control over my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts. Reminding myself over and over again. Self-control, before I really lose everything.


Linkin Park's song Iridescent would be a song just nice for my mood right now. Remember all the sadness and frustration. And let it go. Let it go.

Infatuation kills.