Love knocks you down.

Hello~!

It has been a really pleasant two days one night for me, and hope it's the same for my friends too. Yet something knocked my pleasant mood down. I am so sorry for I think some of you are really waiting for my posts. Those post I promised. Don't worry, I never break promises that I have made. :) Because I only make promises which I can fulfill. :D

Have you ever felt like running away from everything in your life, even those good times you had can't stop you from doing so? Something is wrong. Yet I cannot pin point the problem. I wanted to be alone tonight. Away from everything. You know running away just won't solve anything yet you just want to do so, that rush of adreline is sometimes so hard to come by.

Looking out the window, staring at the dark night sky, the sky is so clear, with the moon shinning bright tonight. The sky's really dark. And my mood goes with it. Life is so compliacted at times. I want to take back the love I gave, taking back everything I have given out, because I am feeling tired. Sometimes when you just stop caring, everything fails. When you just don't have the feeling anymore, the caring stops and everything stops. Isn't it this way? When you just don't even bother what's happening, everything just stops, right there.

I do not know how am I feeling right now. There's a voice inside my head, telling me that I will never make it. Every move I make feels lost with no direction. Is it still worth holding on? I really do not know. Is it because not seeing him for weeks is taking a toll on me? Where is our love? Is it lost? Or am I lost? Haven't felt like that in years already. I really want it but I am afraid. Afraid that I won't be able to make it.

"Not again. Thus ain't supposed to happen to me."

On the other hand, patience is doing no good to me. Every word he says, I try so hard not to burst out, not to lose my temper. But it's getting so hard to do so this days. What have I done? What have I done to deserve such treatment!? Yet running away solves nothing because I fear nothing will ever change the relationship between us.

Our lives are not perfect. They are always full of surprises, obstacles, complications, which sometimes leaving us with no way to go. And sometimes our live gives us the most awesome times, leaving us with wonderful memories to cherish for the rest of our lives. Everything is balanced out. Ain't it?

I'm signing out right now. Can't take the feelings right now. Am unable to handle them.
I try to make a sound, but no one can hear me. I tried to make it known, but it all still stays hidden.

Good night.



pic source

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When everything fails, there's still love.
But when the caring stops, everything stops.