I am not who I am.

Everything happens for a reason

A reason to why it happened

And every single thing that happened

be it the good and bad

has affect me in many ways

one can ever wonder

I am who I used to be right now

That sad, unhappy me

who used to seek attention

by being outrageously dangerous

I am who I used to be

That sad, unhappy me

carrying that fake smile

everywhere I go

I am who I used to be

that pathetic little girl

always beating up people

whenever words hurts

I am who I used to be

that quiet, angry girl

Throwing tantrums

when things do not go as planned

I am just who I used to be

keeping everything bottled up

refusing to let anyone in

faking that smile

so that nobody ever questions

Yet seeking enough attention

to make everyone turns my way

How many tears have I shed

How many scars I have

It was all in the past

But it seems that the past is back to haunt me

I do not have the guts

to spill the beans

I just can't do it anymore

I am not who I am

Keeping everything hidden from public eye

How I want to confide in someone

Pour out my heart and soul

But when I tried

I just couldn't do it

As hard as I cried

I just couldn't bring myself to voice out

Sometimes I just want to forget

Forget everyone

forget everything

and start afresh, without any baggage

yet I ain't in fantasy land

I am who I used to be

That sad, unhappy me

always thinking what people think about me

because I care so much

that I forgot about myself

I am who I USED to be

caring about how people view me

being sensitive to the surroundings

and hurting myself in the progress

I am starting to hate myself

for everything I have done

and for everything that has happened

I retreat to my lair

rather be alone

than think of how people think of me

how people despise me

and how people regard me as arrogant

I am just who I used to be

That sad, unhappy girl

wearing that smile for everyone to see

copyrighted,

by

yunz