"I'm not a toy. I'm nobody's toy. If you decided to play with me, just let me know.
Tell me nicely, and let me walk out from you life cruelly."
There's a nagging feeling that I am trying to get out from my system. A feeling that I want to get it out of my mind as it is making me EMO. I need the mood to do my work right now. Design stage might be over but there are other pending assignments that needs me to complete by this week and next. Not to add I still have a final paper that will be killing me if I fail to ace it.
Why why, oh why when I miss home the most, something has to come and screw it up and make me never want to come home? Family is important, but somehow, it never seems to fail that every time I step into my house there's very little sense of belonging. I love my home, but it's always not what I want, though it's everything I need. My father, my brother, all under one roof. But its the environment, the atmosphere that makes one detest it. I love my dear father very much I just do not know how to show him. I want my family as a whole again, to be like that happy family in my dreams, but it really is impossible.
Every home has their own problems. Every home is not perfect. All I want is to have a family that I can turn to, who does not discriminates, who does not make their own assumptions without knowing the truth, who i can trust and turn to. Family is blood, blood that can never run dry. When friends turn away, family will stay. I just want to feel home.
What has been broken cannot be undone. As broken as my family can be, I will not let my future kids suffer the same fate. (If I do have kids ><)
EMO-ing right now. Responsibility on my shoulders is getting heavier. Is this all I can do? Is this my limit? What is my limit?
No one will understand my responsibilities, and breaking down isn't an option. Who can provide me with the comfort I need? I just need someone to love me for who I am. ='(
Why why, oh why when I miss home the most, something has to come and screw it up and make me never want to come home? Family is important, but somehow, it never seems to fail that every time I step into my house there's very little sense of belonging. I love my home, but it's always not what I want, though it's everything I need. My father, my brother, all under one roof. But its the environment, the atmosphere that makes one detest it. I love my dear father very much I just do not know how to show him. I want my family as a whole again, to be like that happy family in my dreams, but it really is impossible.
Every home has their own problems. Every home is not perfect. All I want is to have a family that I can turn to, who does not discriminates, who does not make their own assumptions without knowing the truth, who i can trust and turn to. Family is blood, blood that can never run dry. When friends turn away, family will stay. I just want to feel home.
What has been broken cannot be undone. As broken as my family can be, I will not let my future kids suffer the same fate. (If I do have kids ><)
EMO-ing right now. Responsibility on my shoulders is getting heavier. Is this all I can do? Is this my limit? What is my limit?
No one will understand my responsibilities, and breaking down isn't an option. Who can provide me with the comfort I need? I just need someone to love me for who I am. ='(
I'm addicted to love.
=) cheer up. you loved your family so so much. Spend more time in doing the same activities together? Be proactive, n be the mover. Sorry, I can't step into your family, but you have your friends who love you so much.
ReplyDeleteErr.. I volunteered to love you first if you found no loves around.. hahaha.. I know, I'm so far n so virtual. lol
aww...come let me give you a hug, hugs :)
ReplyDelete*claim it from me ya*
ZiYang, thanks. :) But my family ain't the typical family where you can suggest this and that. It's ok. I love my family the way they are. :)
ReplyDeleteSo far~ hahahaha. Thank you for your love. I feel so loved from my friends that it would be sufficient. ^^
Matt, I'll remember! :D