I am supposed to be away this weekend. Sort of like a short, small getaway trip down to Malacca, a place so nice with it's own flavor.
But, I turned down that offer. Why?
1) I did not feel like going.
2) I have been to A-Famosa. Although that was like many years back.
3) I have a wound that needs taking care of.
4) I don't feel joyous enough to travel.
5) I just am not in the right mood to enjoy trips with my family right now. And when I am not in the right mood, I get cranky very fast and easy which is not good.
6) Somehow I am stuck at home, makes me want to stay indoors.
7) I just basically don't feel like going.
8) I really just want to stay at home.
9) Because I am having a cranky mood almost for the week.
10) Because I just don't feel like going.
Enough reasons or excuse to satisfy you? Been having a stupid cranky mood since... I don't know when. Sometimes it's best to just keep my mouth shut. Silence is golden. My friend Cayman once said. I have no idea why I remember that she said that but yeah, best I remained silent. I make too much noise, come to think of it. Sometimes I feel that I am missing out on something fun when I said I don't want to go to the Malacca Trip. I let my cousins down. I let myself down.
Having inner problems with myself I guess, that should be the root of my daily silence, my cranky mood, the thoughts of running away from home. I am not a small girl anymore. I can really take care of myself. I guess I am just having problem with myself. The need to be noticed. The need to get attention. The need to be someone I want to be. The need to just do something I like. The need to just do what I want. The need to just want.
I'm getting more emo i think. I want to do something, but I do not have the correct motivation to do so, and I do not have the correct mind and heart to do it. I'll just stop here. I hope my mood will be better. But sometimes, I just don't know what I want, until that thing or something comes along, then I will know.
You know, if you see me with a smiley face, talking joyously to you just about anything, maybe I am wearing a smiley mask. A mask to mask all my sadness. A mask to hide, a wounded heart and a broken soul.
But, I turned down that offer. Why?
1) I did not feel like going.
2) I have been to A-Famosa. Although that was like many years back.
3) I have a wound that needs taking care of.
4) I don't feel joyous enough to travel.
5) I just am not in the right mood to enjoy trips with my family right now. And when I am not in the right mood, I get cranky very fast and easy which is not good.
6) Somehow I am stuck at home, makes me want to stay indoors.
7) I just basically don't feel like going.
8) I really just want to stay at home.
9) Because I am having a cranky mood almost for the week.
10) Because I just don't feel like going.
Enough reasons or excuse to satisfy you? Been having a stupid cranky mood since... I don't know when. Sometimes it's best to just keep my mouth shut. Silence is golden. My friend Cayman once said. I have no idea why I remember that she said that but yeah, best I remained silent. I make too much noise, come to think of it. Sometimes I feel that I am missing out on something fun when I said I don't want to go to the Malacca Trip. I let my cousins down. I let myself down.
Having inner problems with myself I guess, that should be the root of my daily silence, my cranky mood, the thoughts of running away from home. I am not a small girl anymore. I can really take care of myself. I guess I am just having problem with myself. The need to be noticed. The need to get attention. The need to be someone I want to be. The need to just do something I like. The need to just do what I want. The need to just want.
I'm getting more emo i think. I want to do something, but I do not have the correct motivation to do so, and I do not have the correct mind and heart to do it. I'll just stop here. I hope my mood will be better. But sometimes, I just don't know what I want, until that thing or something comes along, then I will know.
You know, if you see me with a smiley face, talking joyously to you just about anything, maybe I am wearing a smiley mask. A mask to mask all my sadness. A mask to hide, a wounded heart and a broken soul.
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Learning to love every second of the day.
Learning to appreciate little things in life.
We live for the moment. ♥
Learning to appreciate little things in life.
We live for the moment. ♥
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